'Twas the Night Before Pride

Recently while browsing around a Barnes & Noble bookstore, I saw a display of children’s books promoting Pride Month. One stood out to me titled “'Twas the Night Before Pride.” I didn’t look through it, but a later search on amazon.com confirmed my suspicion. It was a parody of “A Visit from St. Nicholas” (a/k/a “'Twas the Night Before Christmas”) by Clement Clarke Moore. That inspired me to write a version of my own:

"Twas the night before Pride, when all through the house 

Two creatures were stirring, men wearing a blouse;
Stockings and leather would be worn without care,
Without any concern who would be there.

Their children were all rolling in their beds;
Various nightmares raced through their heads;

While their guardians pinned messages on a cap,

“Love is love” they would continued to yap.

This same-sex couple prepared to make such a clatter,
Parading down the street like Black Lives Matter
Exposing private parts they would proudly flash,
Opening their undies where supporters stuffed cash.

The next day these men put on their show.
It was their last day on earth, little did they know.

For suddenly in front of their eyes would appear,

A minister who approached them without fear. 

This young preacher was so lively and quick,
He identified himself as Brother Nick.
“Sodom and Gomorrah were consumed by the flame
But you can be saved by calling His name: 

Don’t think your attractions are totally fixed.
Don’t be deceived! Your thoughts are mixed.
The enemy of your soul wants you take you to hell.
Now dash away from him and you will be well!”

The minister offered the gift of eternal life,

But the two revelers responded in strife:

“How dare this hater tell us what to do!

The Bible is outdated. It cannot be true.”

And then, in a twinkling, after the preacher left

A runaway float pinned them to a cleft.
The two struggled and tried moving around, 

Soon they were dead, not uttering a sound. 

Their spirits descended into a fiery pit.

Plunging naked in pain, they couldn’t handle it.

A legion of demons shouted with glee:

“Ha Ha! You’re with us now for eternity!”

Centuries passed until it was Judgment Day

The two stood before Him with nothing to say.

All they could do was sob and groan.

“I died for you” said the Savior from His throne.
His eyes—how they twinkled! So full of love.

They could have lived with Him forever above.
But they flaunted their sin raising such a rumble.

And caused many little ones to stumble.

He close His eyes after he said,

“Depart from Me.” The lake of fire lay ahead;
He spoke those words that everyone could hear

And pointed his finger to the angels who were near
The two were hurled like a guided missile

Into the fire they flew like the down of a thistle.
Their punishment is eternal. Make no mistake!

They were never escape the fiery lake.

Wailing, weeping and the gnashing of teeth

Is what sinners are experiencing beneath.
Hell is no party so please don’t ignore.

The Messiah who’s knocking on your door.

No matter what you have done in the past.

Heaven can be your home. It will be a blast.

It’s not based on how you behaved.

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” - James 4:6