Remembering Wendy

God desires us to have a long life (Psalm 91:16). Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world where some believers die prematurely. A woman I once dated for over a year passed away recently.

In March 2008, my then-roommate Jim and I attended John Crowder meetings at Abundant Love Christian Fellowship, a house church in Washington, DC. During the second night, an Asian woman there caught my attention. I found her attractive but didn’t talk to her. I was more focused on filming the meetings using a camcorder Jim bought for me as a birthday present. 

I saw this woman again the following month at a Mahesh Chavda meeting in Silver Spring, Maryland. This time, I approached her, and we chatted a little. Wendy was of Chinese descent, born in New York City to Taiwanese immigrants, but she eventually grew up in Maryland and earned a doctorate. She lived and worked in the nearby city of Rockville.

During the next few weeks, I traveled to other cities. Meanwhile, Wendy and I exchanged emails and talked on the phone. When I mentioned my plans to return to the DC area in June, Wendy offered to drive me around that week. While going to Ashland one day to pick up my mail, I told her I was in the middle of getting a divorce (later finding out my estranged wife had already remarried). Wendy revealed she had mental health issues. The next day, she met me at a church in Fairfax, Virginia, where I taught an evangelism seminar. Wendy offered to work my book table and later dropped me off at the airport.

I spent most of the summer in Fargo, North Dakota. Wendy and I continued talking on the phone daily. She soon expressed interest in having a relationship with me. Not wanting to repeat mistakes made with my failed marriage, I took my time getting to know Wendy. We also sought accountability with spiritual leaders plus our respective families. My parents were receptive to Wendy when she came to the Fargo-Moorhead area for a visit. However, her father opposed Christianity and my not having a regular job. Still, I continued doing the work of an evangelist.

In September 2008, I moved back to Washington, DC. Wendy arranged for me to stay in a room above the Shrimp Boat, a seafood deli owned by her uncle. We got together almost every day. One afternoon, I proposed to Wendy, and she accepted. Immediately, I had a check in my spirit. Wendy and I decided to wait on making wedding plans. We still desired her parents’ blessing. Her mother gradually became friendlier toward me, but her father continually shunned me.

In October, I taught on evangelism at a church in Charlotte, North Carolina. On the day I returned to the DC area, Wendy picked me up at the airport. We then joined my friend and fellow missionary John Loewen in sharing the gospel in the Inner Harbor area of Baltimore. It was the first time John and Wendy met. Little did I know they would later become more than friends.

During the next year, Wendy and I broke up a few times but kept coming back together. I enjoyed being with her but struggled with the idea of us becoming a married couple. While praying about our relationship one night, I perceived the Lord saying we were “drinking buddies.” Whenever I told Wendy to “have another drink” of the Holy Spirit, she repeatedly hollered, “Holy!” I thought it was cute seeing her do that.

At the end of 2009, Wendy and I took a road trip to Kansas City to attend the International House of Prayer’s One Thing conference. On our way home, Wendy exhibited strange behavior (possibly from not taking her medication) and insisted we not see each other for seven days. A week after returning to the DC area, Wendy emailed me saying she wanted us to go our separate ways. I moved out of the Shrimp Boat and resumed traveling as a missionary.

To my surprise, Wendy sent me a Facebook friend request two years later. I didn’t seek to renew our relationship because I was seeing somebody else. I also noticed from Wendy’s Facebook posts that she was spending time with John. Still, I was shocked to learn of their sudden wedding in May 2012. John wanted me to be the first to know since I brought them together. Despite going through numerous separations, they remained married for almost thirteen years. A few times, I was a guest at their house in Rockville. It felt awkward initially, but Wendy continued to be hospitable to me. 

This past October was the last time I talked to Wendy. John had invited me to stay at a house he was renovating in Canton, Ohio. Wendy had remained in Maryland due to increasing health issues, which included receiving dialysis. She came to Canton with John one night, intending to move there. A day later, she decided to return to Rockville. 

Last month, I called John to see how he was doing and found out Wendy had suffered cardiac arrest days before. She lost her ability to speak but appeared to be recovering. John asked me to pray for Wendy’s healing. I did so but perceived in my spirit that she wouldn’t be around much longer. I didn’t say anything to John, wanting to believe the best for Wendy. 

On February 6th, John sent a text informing me his wife had passed away. Wendy was only 51 years old. She will be missed and loved by many. I appreciated Wendy’s commitment to the Lord, her love for animals, her sense of humor, and her generosity. While we dated, Wendy made a good income working in medical research. I avoided asking her for financial assistance, but she still blessed me in numerous ways.

During church meetings I attended with her, Wendy enjoyed dancing. I can see her doing that now on streets of gold while hollering, “Happy Holy!”

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” 

- Revelation 21:4