To Friend or Unfriend

For 15 years now, I’ve been on Facebook plus added other social media platforms. Since I use Facebook as a tool for ministry, I will accept most friend requests as long as my potential friend appears to be a God-fearing person and has a legitimate profile photo. If a person I don’t know doesn’t have a sufficient number of Facebook friends, then their request is deleted. I’m suspicious of individuals who immediately go outside their circle of influence before connecting with people they already know. I’ve learned to set other boundaries.

Some of my Facebook friends post too much stuff online. I noticed one woman make over 40 posts on the same day! Digital entrepreneur Neil Patel says, “If you post too infrequently, your audience will forget that you exist and you will quickly fade into the deep dark recesses of their minds. However, if you are posting too often, you will become a complete nuisance and they will dread seeing your posts overcrowding their feed.” Most studies agree that one or two posts per day are sufficient.


A number of friends post a lot of frivolous things I don’t care to read. Sometimes I see criticisms of preachers I like or endorsements of politicians I don’t agree with. In those cases, I will “unfollow” them but remain friends. That way, we are still connected without my news feed filled with their posts. However, I will unfriend individuals who persist in posting unwanted stuff on my pages. That includes ministers who promote their ministries without asking, make fundraising appeals, or preach false doctrines like universal reconciliation.


I’ve had my share of fair-weather Facebook friends. Recently at a church conference, I met a businessman who briefly connected with me online and even took me out for dinner. We planned on getting together again the next day. However, he suddenly changed his mind and blocked me due to a misunderstanding. Jesus warned in the last days that people would become easily offended (Matthew 24:10). 


Occasionally I get disconnected from friends who claimed they never unfriended me. A few others who I considered good friends unfriended me without explaining why. Sometimes it’s best to communicate in person or over the phone. Texts and emails get misinterpreted due to typos, dictation not working correctly, or spellchecks changing our words. If someone you know writes a note that rubs you the wrong way, don’t be quick to unfriend. Talk to him about it. Jesus said in Matthew 18:15, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”


Thankfully, Jesus is one friend who will never leave us or forsake us. However, my relationship with Him is not dependent on what I post online. I’ve received challenges to share a post or chain letter to prove I love Jesus. I challenge chain letter senders to pass out gospel tracts instead. That will result in more friends in this life and the next. 


“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24


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